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Egg nog and whiskey with a Valium chaser - nobody said there would be days like these [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
flux_in_stasis

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Egg nog and whiskey with a Valium chaser [Dec. 24th, 2004|11:08 am]
flux_in_stasis
[Current Mood |discontentdiscontent]
[Current Music |bright eyes - lovers turn into monsters]

Well, I'm done. It's 11:08 on Christmas Eve and I finished my holiday shopping about 15 minutes ago. Nothing like the last minute. I have to say, though -- I work well under pressure. I think everyone will be happy with their gifts. Yay for being in the spirit of giving.

I can't say I'm happy this year, though. I'm trying hard to like this season, I really am, but it just ends up sucking for me every year for one reason or another. It's not unbearably bad, just...blah. Maybe this is what this holiday will amount to for me indefinitely. It could just be that this is what Christmas is like for adults, but I doubt it. I seem to be missing something. Who knows, it could be all in my head. I just feel like I should be happier.

Feeling helpless sucks. Feeling hopeless sucks more.

I have a lot to do today -- we're supposed to go to Barbara's sister's house at four, but the thing is, my dad is stuck at work until further notice; he might not get out until about six-ish...and I have no desire to go without him. I don't know what I'd do. I'd wind up sitting in a corner talking to...oh, that's right. No one. I'd rather nap instead. After that it's dinner at Mark's house with Lacy, who I'd like to see beforehand because I fucked up again last night and we need to talk and make up and all that...I think that has a hand in what's fucking me up mentally right now; oh, tangental...and finally church (!) at 11 tonight. I have to wrap presents, do the pedicure thing, and figure out what I'm wearing. Maybe make some homemade Christmas cards. Depends how festive I'm feeling. I think it will probably be somewhere in the area of "not very." I can't shake this apathy. Very disconcerting.

Merry Christmas, everyone.
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